everything's so green

I hate horses. And I hate deer.

I hate horses because they think that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence and so they stick their thick necks through the fence and lean on it with their twelve-hundred pound frames to get that one blade of grass that’s just beyond their own garden. And in so doing — break the fence. Which I have to fix.

I hate deer because they know the grass is greener on the other side of the fence and so they jump the fence but aren’t as athletic as they think so they clip the top board and break the fence. Which I have to fix. 

If “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” isn’t the truest thing in the world I don’t know what is.

Horses, deer, people. None of us are very well content with the grass in our own pastures and forever poke our heads through or try to jump the fence to get to the other side. 

The happiest man in the world has got to be the one who knows his grass is green enough. 

and in the immortal words of Uncle Alfie:

“everything’s so f*cking green”